ShuraZero
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Chapter 63: The Search for the Legendary Sucker
🕑 Added 2025-10-16 22:36:45 +0000 UTCThe morning sun filtered through the large window of the Hokage's office, illuminating the specks of dust dancing in the air. The room, normally a hive of activity, was in an almost absolute calm. A calm that Hiruzen found deeply suspicious. He was sitting at his desk, facing a mountain of paperwork that seemed to grow by the minute.
"Report on the annual shuriken budget…" he muttered to himself. "Request for repairs to training ground number 3…" Again. That's the third time this month. What the hell are they doing there?
He set the scroll aside, where it joined an unstable pile.
"Formal complaint regarding the quality of the tea in the jōnin break room…" he read the next one, allowing himself a small snort. "As if they don't have more important things to worry about."
He let out a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the entire village. Sometimes, he felt that administration was the most difficult task of all.
A swirl of dry leaves formed in the center of the room. An ANBU with a crow mask materialized out of thin air. He didn't say a word. He simply knelt, placed a new, thin, official-looking file on the only clear corner of his desk, and vanished with the same silence with which he had arrived.
Hiruzen eyed it with the suspicion of a man who has seen too many urgent reports in his life. The label was simple, almost innocent: "Request for Extended Training Regimen." He opened it with a resigned sigh, expecting another veiled complaint about the lack of high-rank missions or a petition to practice forbidden jutsus in some remote area.
He read the first line: Applicants: Hatake Kakashi, Yūhi Kurenai.
His bushy, gray eyebrows rose a fraction of a centimeter. That was… unusual. Kakashi and Kurenai rarely collaborated on bureaucratic matters.
He continued reading. Assigned Teams: Team 7, Team 8. Complete.
His interest sharpened. The combination of those two jōnin and those two specific teams was no coincidence.
He moved on to the next section. Purpose of training: Advanced survival training, tracking, and intelligence gathering in potentially hostile territory to improve cohesion and post-traumatic capabilities following the mission in the Land of Waves.
Impeccable wording. It covered all the bases. Too perfect, in fact. Every word was chosen to sound official, necessary, and, above all, boring.
And finally, he read the proposed location and duration: Territories surrounding Tanzaku City. Duration: Indefinite.
There was a long, long silence. Hiruzen left the form on the desk. He leaned back in his chair, and the old leather creaked in protest. He stared at the ceiling for a moment. Then, a slow smile, the first genuine one he'd had all morning, began to form on his face.
Kakashi… Kurenai… he thought, and the smile turned into a choked laugh, a hoarse sound that filled the empty office. Insolent, brilliant children. They really did it.
He leaned forward, rereading the form as if it were the best work of fiction he had read in years.
A "training regimen." Of course. And I'm a freshly graduated genin. "Intelligence gathering." "Potentially hostile." What an elegant and bureaucratic way of saying they're going to defy a direct order from the Hokage and the Council to search for a rogue Sannin on their own, and that we can't stop them because they've disguised it as official paperwork.
He was impressed. And, if he was being honest with himself, he was immensely proud. He had presented them with an unsolvable problem, his hands tied by politics and the Council. And instead of accepting it, instead of giving up, they had found a way out.
He picked up his enormous, heavy official wooden stamp, the one with the word "DENIED" carved in large, red letters.
And then, with a mischievous grin he hadn't allowed himself in years, he gently set it aside.
He searched a hidden drawer in his desk, one that didn't appear on any official blueprints of the tower. He pulled out a much smaller, more discreet stamp. He inked it carefully on a separate pad and stamped it in a nearly invisible corner of the form, right next to a crease. The stamp simply said, in tiny, almost illegible letters: "RECEIVED FOR REVIEW."
With a casual, almost lazy motion, he pushed the file to the bottom of the largest, most menacing pile of paperwork on his desk. He covered it with the shuriken report, the tea complaint, and a dozen other requests, burying it under an avalanche of bureaucracy.
"Let the record show that I never authorized this mission," he said aloud to the silence of his office. "It just… got misplaced. Lost among other documents. I'll probably review it in about six months. Or maybe next year."
He picked up his pipe, a spark of genuine amusement in his eyes.
"Good luck, kids. You're going to need it."
*****
Several hours later, the combined teams were moving at a fast, steady pace along the main road leading out of Konoha. Hinata glided through the forest about twenty meters ahead, her pale eyes scanning every shadow, every suspicious movement among the leaves. Kiba and Shino moved on the flanks, Akamaru sniffing the air beside him. Kakashi and Kurenai scouted even farther out, appearing and disappearing among the trees like ghosts, securing the extended perimeter.
And in the center, Naruto and Sakura ran side by side.
"You think the old man bought it?" Sakura whispered after a long stretch of silence, her voice barely audible over the crunch of their steps on the dead leaves.
Naruto gave her a self-satisfied grin, though he didn't take his eyes off the path.
"Of course! It was a brilliant plan, I told you! The most important training of our lives. We're super diligent. He's gonna give us a medal when we get back, you'll see!"
"Or he's going to demote us to latrine cleaners for life," she retorted, though a small smile pulled at the corner of her lips.
"Details, details," Naruto replied with a dismissive wave. "The important thing is, it worked. We're here."
"It hasn't worked yet. Until then, we're just a group of insubordinate genin on an unauthorized mission."
"Well, technically it's not unauthorized," Naruto said, adopting a know-it-all tone. "Kakashi-sensei said it was a loophole. So it's… semi-authorized."
Sakura rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress her smile.
"You're an idiot."
"But we're here, aren't we?"
She looked at him for a second.
"Yeah. We're here."
They made a brief stop to drink water near a small spring.
"Akamaru, no! Wait! It could have parasites!" Kiba's voice was heard, followed by a bark of protest.
"Don't worry," Kurenai intervened calmly, appearing at the edge of the clearing. "Let the dog drink."
Kiba crossed his arms.
"If he gets diarrhea, you're cleaning it up, sensei."
While Kiba was protesting, Naruto saw Hinata standing a little apart from the group. She was watching the path they had come from, alert and focused. Remembering what Kurenai had told him about taking care of his team, and feeling a pang of gratitude, he walked over to her.
"Hey, Hinata!"
She started, turning with wide eyes as if he'd caught her doing something wrong. The blush was already starting to creep up her cheeks.
"N-Naruto-kun!"
"You're doing an incredible job!" he said with one of his sincere, direct smiles. "Seriously. Thanks to you, we haven't fallen into any rabbit traps or run into any angry squirrels! Your eyes are everywhere!"
She blushed even more, looking down at her feet, but a small, unmistakable smile appeared on her face.
"I-it's nothing, Naruto-kun. I'm just doing my part. It's my job."
He offered her his canteen, which he had just refilled at the spring.
"Here, have a drink. You can't get dehydrated if you're our eyes. It's important. If you get tired, we could end up walking in circles or straight into an ambush."
The simple, considerate gesture left her speechless for a second.
She accepted the canteen with a small bow, her fingers brushing against his for an instant. Her heart pounded against her ribs.
"Th-thank you, Naruto-kun."
"No problem. Now rest a bit. I'll let you know when we're leaving."
They resumed their march. The sun reached its highest point in the sky, casting short, sharp shadows. The initial excitement of the "secret mission" had begun to fade, replaced by the monotony of the road and the steady rhythm of their steps. And it was then, in the midst of that rhythmic silence, that reality hit Naruto.
He stopped.
He stopped so abruptly that Sakura, who was walking behind him, nearly crashed into his back.
"Hey! What's wrong with you? Give a warning if you're going to stop like that."
"Wait a minute!" Naruto's voice was laden with a sudden, growing urgency. "Wait! Everybody stop!"
The rest of the team halted, heads turning toward him. Kiba, who was a few meters away, let out an audible sigh.
"What now? You need to use the bathroom? Because if that's it, you can hold it until the next town."
"No!" Naruto said, completely ignoring him. He looked frantically up into the treetops, searching for his sensei. "Kakashi-sensei! Kurenai-sensei! I have a question! A very, very, very important question!"
Kakashi's voice came from a nearby branch, tinged with slight annoyance and a hint of curiosity.
"What is it, Naruto? Did you discover the meaning of life?"
"Worse!" Naruto shouted, turning so everyone could see the look of pure panic on his face. "How are we going to find her?"
Silence fell over the group, thick and sudden. The only sound was the wind whispering through the trees.
"How are we going to find who?" Kiba asked, genuinely confused. "The owner of the next ramen shop?"
Naruto turned to him, his eyes wide, his voice rising with every word.
"Tsunade! I'm talking about Tsunade!" he said, speaking faster and faster, gesturing with his hands. "No, seriously! Everybody think about it for a second! It's Tsunade! One of the Legendary Sannin! A ninja who's been avoiding Konoha's ANBU and a ton of people she owes money to for years! YEARS! She doesn't have a shop in the city with a neon sign! She could be anywhere in the Land of Fire! Or anywhere in the world! It's an impossible search! What's the plan?! Do we even have a plan or are we just walking east hoping to stumble upon her?!"
Naruto's question, simple, direct, and loaded with terrifying logic, hung in the air. The group's confidence instantly deflated. They looked at each other. Sakura frowned, Kiba scratched his head. Even Shino seemed to tense up. Naruto was right. They had a mission, a goal, but they had no method. They were flying blind.
All eyes turned to Kakashi, who dropped from the tree with an exasperating calmness. Kurenai landed beside him a second later, her expression more serious.
Kakashi approached the group, his one visible eye curved into what was clearly a smile under his mask.
"Naruto's right," he said, and Naruto puffed up with pride for a second before deflating again as he remembered the problem.
"Completely," Kurenai added, crossing her arms. "It's a question you should have asked before you left the village."
"A direct search is useless," Kakashi continued, ignoring Kurenai's implied reprimand. "We'd never find her if we looked for 'Tsunade, the Sannin of Konoha.' She's too good at hiding. Too famous. If anyone asked for her, word would spread, and she'd disappear before we could get close."
He paused, clearly enjoying the suspense.
"But we're not going to look for Tsunade, the Sannin."
"Then who are we looking for?" Sakura asked, impatient.
"We're going to look for the 'Kamo Densetsu'," Kakashi said, his tone filled with barely concealed glee.
Kiba blinked.
"The Kamo… Densetsu? What's that? A new kind of duck summon?"
It was Kurenai, who had moved to stand beside Kakashi, who answered, an amused smile on her face.
"No, Kiba. It's her nickname in the underworld. It means, more or less, the 'Legendary Sucker' or the 'Legendary Patsy.' In short: the legendary loser."
"The legendary… loser?" Naruto repeated, confused. "But she's a Sannin!"
"She earned it for her two biggest weaknesses, which are as legendary as her strength and medical skill," Kurenai explained. "Her terrible gambling addiction and her even worse luck. Tsunade can't win a bet to save her life. Literally. It's said that if she ever hits a jackpot, it's a sign that something terrible is about to happen. And since she never stops gambling, she always leaves a trail."
Kakashi nodded, taking over to lay out the plan.
"Exactly. We won't look for her. We'll look for the financial chaos and the trail of furious debtors she leaves in her wake. We'll start in Tanzaku City. It's the nearest gambler's paradise on this route, and my informant says there have been rumors. There, we'll split up. This is the real training."
His gaze fell on the two loudest boys on the team.
"Naruto, Kiba. Your task will be the most direct. You will visit every gambling den, every dive bar, every place where illegal bets are made in an alley. Don't ask for Tsunade. No one knows her by that name, and you'd set off alarms. Ask for rumors."
"What kind of rumors?" Kiba asked, his face lighting up at the idea.
"Rumors of a blonde woman with monstrous strength who always loses everything. Look for stories of someone who bet and lost a fortune, who fled without paying, who smashed a gaming table with a single punch out of frustration. Ask for the 'Legendary Sucker'."
Kiba's face split into a predatory grin.
"I love this plan! Let's go, Akamaru!"
Kakashi turned to the girls.
"Hinata, Kurenai-sensei. You have a similar task, but with a different approach. You'll focus on the higher-class establishments. Casinos, tea houses where mahjong is played, luxury inns. Look for the same pattern: a guest who arrived with a lot of money and left with nothing. Your appearance is less suspicious in those places. You'll be more discreet."
Hinata nodded, her expression serious and focused.
Finally, his gaze landed on Sakura and Shino.
"Sakura, your role is different and crucial. Shino, you'll accompany her. Your stealth and your insects will be invaluable for overhearing conversations without being detected."
"What should we do, sensei?" Sakura asked.
"You will visit every clinic, every hospital, every apothecary in the city and the surrounding towns. Ask about impossible medical cases. Miraculous healings that no one can explain. Patients with strange injuries or incurable diseases who recovered overnight. Or, conversely, look for local doctors complaining about a 'traveling doctor' who steals their patients with unconventional treatments and then disappears. A medical-nin of her caliber can't help but use her skills, and when she does, she leaves a trail. Even if she tries not to."
The team now had a plan. A real, tangible plan. The despair that had begun to seep through the cracks of their determination evaporated, replaced by a renewed purpose and a clear strategy.
"I'll establish a secure base camp on the outskirts of the city. Everyone will report back to me. No one acts alone. If you find a solid lead, no matter how small, you return. Understood?"
"Yes!" they all answered in unison.
After a few more hours of travel, they reached a hill overlooking their first destination. Tanzaku City stretched out below them, a sea of rooftops and bustling streets. Unlike Konoha, with its orderly structure, Tanzaku was a chaos of tightly packed buildings, dark alleys, and bright lights. Even from this distance, they could see the neon lights of the gambling districts already beginning to flicker in the dusk.
Okay, Sakura thought, her gaze fixed on the city. A plan. A good plan. I have a purpose. Find Tsunade. For Sasuke… and for myself. I have to learn to control this. I have to understand it.
Kakashi stood beside her, watching the city lights that were beginning to shine brighter as the sun set.
"Alright, team. Our 'training' just got a lot more interesting."
He paused, the evening air stirring his silver hair.
"Let the hunt begin."
Comments
Aaron Schwartz
You forgot to add the part where this person they’re looking for has an enormous rack. The people that they’re asking for rumors are exactly the kind of people that would pay attention to that sort of detail. It’s kind of hard to miss.
