officehourslive
patreon
Tour Diary Part 5: Frankenmuth
🕑 Added 2025-02-05 16:08:02 +0000 UTCGreetings from Cleveland after a safe border crossing from deep within fresh enemy territory: Toronto. Jesus. If you've seen the show you know we kick the night off by showing a karaoke style video of the National Anthem with the words all messed up. JP introduced it as "please rise to sing your NEW National Anthem" And we knew it would illicit some friendly boos... but it was perhaps more and angrier than i expected. Good for them. They should boo. Fuck us right now.
Monday was my birthday and as you know we had a very good time on the show... thank you all... We were staying at a hotel/water park called Zehnder's... The water park was only open until 1pm so I didn't get in any slide work. For dinner, JP booked us all a table at Zehnder's World Famous Chicken Dinners... it was about a 10 minute walk through town to get there but it felt like a trek across sibera. I was paranoid about slipping on the icy sidewalks and parking lots we had to cross, and shuffled along like a little grannie, while Ellie filmed me for a promo video.
Frankenmuth is one of those little towns where it's Christmas all year round: A tourist spot with a very pretty covered bridge and gift shops. People wanna know what the hell we were doing there? Well it sits right in the middle between Detroit and Toronto, making a convenient pit stop on our day off... AND JP Loves me and wanted to make sure there was something a little different going on for our day off... He was of course crushed to find the water park would be closed in the afternoon.
We arrived safely at the "world famous" chicken dinner restaurant. It was aglow in Christmas lights and decorated in an 18th Century Colonial style that felt a little like a retirement home.
we sat down in my favorite kind of large party table, a round one, and puzzled over the huge menu. We finally figured out that we'd be ordering an "all you care to eat" family style dinner which would include (with my opinions on each item:
Cottage Cheese (with a cranberry apple relish on the side) - pretty good!
Toasted bread with cheese and pate - fine
Bathwater/Lipton Chicken Soup - very very bad and unnecessary
Cole Slaw - too sweet
The main meal consisted of:
Mashed Potatoes and Stuffing and Gravy (very good!)
Squash (not good at all!)
Overcooked buttered noodles.
world famous fried chicken (remarkably bad! and here's why: very very little seasoning! virtually saltless!)
For dessert, possibly the best item of the night, some soft serve ice cream with fudge and whipped cream... solid!
But who cares! We had a blast! I was surreal and funny and the restaurant was filled with interesting characters to ease drop on. I'd have taken that meal over some fuckin fancy bullshit.
Here's some pics of the night!
https://photos.app.goo.gl/KwMid4kXJsjBnBF9A
see you tonight Cleveland! Tix remain for the east coast coming up this Weekend! We've just added KYLE MOONEY to Brooklyn Steel! TIX
Peace and LOVE! -T
Comments
TrashVHS
Ill have what Greggs having.
Zack Zack
You have to go back during the holidays for the Christmas goose, if that's still a thing. I remember my family booking a room there in the '90s, and then we would take horse-drawn carriages after dinner around snowy Frankenmuth.
Michael Primz
Tim, where did you eat in Toronto?
Mary-Anne McTrowe
Man, that Toronto show ruled! I tried to boo my hardest at our new national anthem but when I read the accompanying words I couldn't stop laughing. When I got back home I told my husband a couple of Neil Hamburger's jokes, and I think we might be getting a divorce. My condolences on the chicken meal; that sounded and looked grim. At least they have a cool neon sign?
Will Ochs
I thought it was hilarious! Graham Chapman did something similar in his live appearances where he would request 30 seconds of "abuse" from the audience who would then boo and holler and shout obscenities at him. "Terrific abuse - thank you!"
Jared
I live in Saginaw, so I too was pleased to see Tim stop in to Frankenmuth. Totally agree with your assessment of Bavarian Inn also :)
Axel Radman
One time on a trip to Frankenmuth, my entire family left me at Zehnder's Restaurant. This was after finishing one of their "World Famous" family-style chicken dinners. My entire family left to head back to the hotel without me. Eventually after waiting for some time, someone figured it out, came back and got me. Family always liked to joke with me after "aw man he came back!" Hahaha, I don't care. I'm 36 now. Got my own life. Don't even think about that stuff as much anymore. Love the show, big fan!
Sarah R
Introducing the anthem like that was a pretty big swing but I appreciated it. Made me uncomfortable, made me laugh, and the whole experience was sort of moving in a weird way. Very memorable. Opening the set to aggressive booing is definitely revolutionizing the show flow!
Nick
I especially love this entry because I live about half an hour east of Frankenmuth, and it’s just by default where our family goes for birthdays and gatherings. Such an odd, surreal place. If you (or anyone reading this) ever find yourself back there by some off chance, here’s some advice: go across the street to the Bavarian Inn. It’s a virtually identical menu, and both restaurants are literally owned by the same family. But the quality of the food is much better. Plus, the chicken there is actually seasoned! Nothing spectacular, but if I had to choose between the two, Bavarian Inn wins.
Mattsketball
Perfect
The Daily Ghost
Ease drop? Eavesdrop.
Brandon Fasse
Fair assessment of the meal. Took the kids to Frankenmuth for the weekend last year. Had some nice big beers in a mock Bavarian setting.
lilula9
whoa, talk about a blast from the past. When you asked why I wasn't in St Louis, it's 'cause my sis and I grew up in West Michigan! Went and visited family after seeing you all. Same family brought me as a wee sprout to Frankenmuth, which I barely remember--so I love your report and that your birthday was super weird and enjoyable after you thawed out! everyone looks so cozy Tourist theory: I kept seeing the Michigan license plates "water winter wonderland" and thought it was referring to Lake Michigan/Winter. which I was confused about since no one would/should want to Water during Winter. BUT what if they were talking about Frankenmuth with Winter/Christmas + Water (until 1 PM)?? 🤯
Joe Brian Radio
Tim is so mercurial, to be sure. But, I think he will enjoy this knowledge! He needs us to eaven him out. ;) lol
Jenny Schmidt
i hope they at least had a garden salad and french fries for him.
Ashley Oh
Oh no, the Booing! 🤣 The genuinely made me laugh, good stuff. That fried chicken even looks horrid! 😭
Joe Brian Radio
lol! This made my day!
Jenny Schmidt
i bet that restaurant carpet has seen some things. with peace and love, its eavesdrop. i will go commit seppuku now.
Jenny Schmidt
mar largo wishes it was that nice.
Jenny Schmidt
don’t you mean “as an aslide”?
Joe Brian Radio
I like the “Slide Work” double entendres! Slides. The scariest slide I have ever seen at that hotel, The Very Good Band’s FANTASTIC use of Slide/Pedal Steel Guitar, comprise this double entendres. As an aside, -I was at that hotel in the Summer for a beer fest, long ago, with friends, and a truly wild woman whom I loved, at the time. It’s a cool hotel for big groups because you share an enormous balcony with the other rooms. Very easy to cheef marijuana out there, convivially, communally. But that slide/pool…, I am very serious, I was too scared to go down that slide. Something about it… I guess, that water slides, should not be “indoors.” -The slide needs to be outside in the sun! So it doesn’t become corrupted into becoming a tool of Poseidon and darkness, am I right?! Michigan has the cheapest weed in the whole country, too. 10/10 cheefing state.
Athena
You got to stay at a place with a water park you guys are so fun!! I really wish you could've did the slides (maybe next time) it snowed where I live so I got to sled with the dogs! Happy Touring!! 💕
Pablo
Awesome to see Kyle too! See you in Brooklyn
James__Merr
The juxtaposition of the industrial vacuum with arms crossed Greg, amongst the foldout tables and Mar A Lago decor is thoughtfully composed. It asks the viewer to question just who is responsible for sucking the fun out of that room--was it the vac, the Turk or the photographer for maybe spoiling a midwestern moment of zen.
Nate
Should’ve tried the chicken livers!
Joe Finnegan
Wow the pictures of the interior were far better and more depressing than I imagined, and those pictures of Gregg are too perfect. This story only makes me want my world famous chicken dinner even more
Jessica
Really concerned Gregg did not have a plate in front of him at dinner. I know he’s vegan. I hope he is being fed.
Andy B
Everyone looks so cold in the photos
mingham
My ex is from Detroit and always said he wanted to take me to Frankenmuth for a personalized Christmas ornament and the world famous chicken dinner, which he never followed through on. Getting to live vicariously through your experience has been healing for me 🙏 Also, Happy Birthday!!!!!
