Buttopia
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Chapter 152: Dave, Emperor of Earth
🕑 Added 2025-04-22 07:29:15 +0000 UTC
“Well then. I believe that makes it official. U-1.9392912^10e37 Earth-107I2T112 officially is under the control of the Empire of Dave. You are now accorded all standard faction rights as a ruler of a universe. And if I can say so, good job on that last spectacle you did. That should make some of the smaller factions looking to gobble you up a little leery of the idea,” Zcalria said as he approached me. Everyone around him seemed to have slowed down, allowing him to easily be the first to reach me.
“Good, I guess. Does this mean we are free of Korl for now?” I asked. I ignored the fact that he had somehow been watching the match live. Mel had seemed to be able to do it before, too, so I just assumed it had something to do with their own special access.
“In the current legal matter, yes. Long-term, I can’t say for sure. The fact that they were so interested in your universe was somewhat unexpected. I would hope for the moment they are off to lick their wounds, and curry favor with whatever factions were behind this. Now that my ruling is complete, I have other business to attend to. Enjoy your celebration,” The judge said, turning and heading for the door. He slid his form around Pryte as the man tried to stop him with a question, leaving Pryte with a look of annoyance on his face.
“I didn’t think it was possible, gonna be honest. Figured we’d be running on Pryte’s escape plan about now, but ya did it somehow, and damn if you didn’t make that last little big impressive as hell. Kind of feel like ya was holding a bit on me there, Dave,” Mel said, no trace of anger was in his words. Even his usual glare had been replaced by a giant smile.
“Yeah, kind of figured I’d be dead too, but I had obligations that said that wasn’t allowed, so thanks to you, I guess I have to run an empire now,” I replied, smiling back at the man. We had come surprisingly far together since we first met. How soon after that initial meeting had he decided on any of this course of action?
“Shit! Pryte, we gotta get back quick, before Timon does anything that’ll be a problem!” Mel yelled, his face suddenly going from a smile to a look of shock. What exactly had they left Timon to do?
“Yep, good point. Everyone pause the celebrations. Floor Master, it’s been an honor as always. Rorge, we need to get back to Earth right this second,” Pryte said, his words coming out fast enough that they blended together, but everyone got the point as I caught Floor Master nod his head just before we all vanished from the room, appearing back in my yard.
“Timon, we won. Plan’s off!” Mel shouted out the second we appeared.
“Well, that’s good news, uh, don’t go near the bunk house yet. Already had that wired. Cats and moose are on the bus. I’ll let you all get them off, it was hard enough to get them on it,” he yelled back, stepping out from behind a tree, several small objects vanishing into his pockets as he appeared. He had clearly been prepared for a fight.
“So, now what?” I asked, looking around at all the people gathered at my, no, our home. What, less than a year ago, had been a place of my self-imposed exile was now full of life, friends, family, and that would grow even more soon. Not only that, it was also the center for the ruling body of an empire I now wore the crown for. My life was so far changed from anything I had ever imagined, and yet I could see so many new possibilities of what I could do.
I may have asked the question, but I knew the answer. It was easy, now we did everything we could. The real question was the order of priority. Everyone here had their dreams and goals, and some of them pressed harder than others. I would do my best to help every one of them. That would be the first thing I worked on in the coming days, getting a list of what we wanted to accomplish.
“Do you actually want an answer to that question?” Pryte asked, as though he entirely understood what was going on in my mind.
“No, I suppose, what I really want to know is what you think we should do next,” I replied.
“Well, after Timon clears out whatever traps he made, I think it’s time for another celebration. Sure, there are a million other problems looming, but at the moment, the big hanging weight over us is gone. Now we just have to build this universe up to compete with whatever is next thrown at us,” Pryte answered. The look on his face told me he knew that easier said than done.
“So basically, do whatever until we end up in a multiversal war,” I replied, only half jokingly.
“Or if any of the other threats hanging over the heads of half your squad members decide to make their move. The real answer, if you want it right now, is that we relax, at least for a little while. We’ve earned it. After that, we need to get to work establishing some lines of trade and figuring out what we can do here on Earth. Maybe we even start checking out the nearby planetary bodies, might be useful materials there,” Pryte replied. I hadn’t really considered the possibility of exploring the Solar System somehow. There were some very interesting ideas there once we were capable of it.
“Dad, come on, Timon already has the hall ready to use. I want you to help pick out the menu. This is your party!” John called from near the building. Maud was standing next to him, still smiling.
“Coming,” I yelled back, deciding to push as much of the future out of my head for now. Pryte was right, we had earned some relaxation, and I was going to take it.
***
Sanquar was frustrated, incredibly unendingly frustrated. The memories were right there; he could feel them touching the back of his mind, but no matter what he did, the gap between actually remembering them and knowing they existed never seemed to close. What had they done to him?
For most of his exile, these thoughts had stopped bothering him. He had resigned himself to his fate. The refined experience he had started building had been a fluke more than a plan. He doubted he’d have ever actually been able to use it. Dave and the Orcs had changed everything.
They had given him a hope, and with that hope came a need to solve his past. Had he grown too powerful? Had he stumbled on something they had to keep secret? Why hadn’t they just killed him? He supposed that answer might just have been their enjoyment at forcing this form on him forever, but it still didn’t make sense. There was something missing in all of this, and the fact that the System had given him a quest proved it.
Who had been this mysterious first person from this world in the Spiral, and how hadn’t he already known about them? Questions upon questions, and for now, he only had one plan. He wanted to meet with Connie’s grandfather, his old friend, and possibly the only one still alive. He had to know something.
He dipped his beak into the sweet cake that had been placed in front of him moments ago. It was delicious. For now, he could be content with the changes that had happened here. He would make himself be patient. And once he found out what had happened to all his friends and allies, he would make those responsible pay a thousand times over.
***
“Where am I?” the voice called out into the cold, icy cave it found itself in. Wait, he had a form again. He wasn’t able to shift his body anymore. How had this happened? Not that he was upset with the change exactly, but he hadn’t expected it. He focused his thoughts on what he had been doing before he arrived here.
There was that dream with Dave and the others. Then there was the weird feeling pulling his perception to Earth, that planet he had been drawn to by Dave. But why had Dave ever caught his attention? That part still confused him. He knew he was a man now and was sure he once had this form before. But who was he?
He turned just as a gleam of sunlight bounced off some ice into the cave. The light was enough for him to catch his reflection in the wall. Suddenly, everything came flooding back to him. The experiment, the explosion, his death, all of it was overwhelming his mind. Worst of all, how that man he had called his assistant had sabotaged it all. The same man he called a friend, who he spent many a night drinking and working through the insanely complex problems of mana flow rates with had conspired to kill him.
He screamed in his rage as the memories refused to abate. He knew who he was, and now he understood why he had been drawn to Dave. Dave had been the one to finish his vision. That meant Dave needed his help. There was so much more they could do—so much more science to pursue.
“Who are you?” a small voice asked from behind him, interrupting his train of thought. Damn, now he understood what he been drawn into. A dungeon had formed, and it had somehow plucked his consciousness out of where he had been stuck and rebuilt his body as though he were some sort of mana beast. Worst of all, the dungeon core had just noticed him.
He tried the only option he could think of. Hoping he was still connected to the soul chat, tried to send a message across it.
>Karlinovo: Dave, this is Santa. I know who I am now, and I’m trapped in a dungeon on your planet. It is imperative you find me!
Ultimately, even those few of us who came to like him also came to understand he was not of sound mind. I wish I had understood that truly in those days. Perhaps I could have stopped the experiment that doomed so many. But alas, I was charmed by the man as so many others have been in the past. Karlinovo was not a tortured genius. He was a madman masquerading as one. Do not attempt to follow in his footsteps, for it can only bring ruin.
Karlinovo Exposed by Gastronil
End of Book 2
Comments
Ian Weidner
First chapter of book 3 will be up tonight at some point. This weekend I'll do a full stat update for the main party.
Kirby
Is there going to be a stat/skill/orb summary for Dave and friends? There’s quite a bit of data to track now that more people are getting their cores hooked up. Looking forward to the next book!
Michael Halpern
of course what the judge didn't say was that by using 6 cores at once, he'll attract the attention of others
