Buttopia
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Chapter 102: Reunion
🕑 Added 2025-02-05 06:39:32 +0000 UTC“Hey before we see the kids, we need to talk real quick,” I said to Laura as we entered back into the room with their escape tunnel, following behind the soldiers. I wasn’t looking forward to another climb back through it, but I hadn’t been given another choice.
She turned to me with the same angry eyes she had had so often during the final years of our marriage and then let out a protracted sigh as the anger lessened. “Dave, just because I don’t know what’s going on, I’d really rather you not treat me like an idiot any more than you have in the past,” she said, causing a flashback of some of our worst fights. The guilt of it all hit me hard, but I didn’t have time for that right now.
“I don’t think you’re an idiot. I never did. I’m sorry for the past I really am, but why do you think I think you’re one now?” I asked. I hadn’t expected the encounter to go like this. Then again, I wasn’t sure what I had expected. Even if somewhere deep down, part of me thought maybe saving her could reignite something, the logical part of me knew that wasn’t how reality worked. Despite the fact that seeing her again had released a kaleidoscope of butterflies into my stomach, I wasn’t a kid lost in a romantic fantasy.
“You two out of the room. I want to talk to my ex-husband in private for a moment!” Laura snapped at the two men guarding the tunnel. Both of them hastily left the room without a peep of argument. How much authority did Laura have here?
“Why do I think you’re treating me like an idiot? Oh, I don’t know. Could it be the fact that you somehow look like you did when we were in college, and you didn’t even care enough to try to make an excuse?” She said, as her eyes narrowed and her glare intensified. Mel had nothing on her.
“Laura, come on, you know me, I don’t always remember to tell people the details. The same thing happened with the kids. This is why I wanted to talk to you before we saw them,” I said, stammering slightly. That burning stare of hers was making it hard to think straight.
“Then talk. What the hell happened to you?” she asked as she forcefully closed her eyes while taking a deep breath. She reopened them while exhaling slowly, the anger starting to fade from her face. The stare returned.
“This is going to sound insane, but I promise it’s the truth, if extremely abridged, but still the truth. When the orcs attacked, I was saved by someone who froze time here and sent me to another world. I had some adventures and learned how to fight like the orcs can, made some friends, and brought them back with me. Now I’m back, and I’m trying to help,” I said, the words pouring out of my mouth as I tried to make her understand.
She lifted her glasses up with her index finger and thumb, closing her eyes as she squeezed the bridge of her nose. I knew that sign. I had seen it so many times when I’d forget to do something obvious or manage to hurt myself by not paying attention. That was a sign she believed me. She wasn’t happy about it, but she did.
Letting her glasses fall back into place, she finally spoke. “Dave, when there is time, you are going to tell me this story in its entirety. Every detail, I want it all. Every single detail will be important. Right now, I accept that you are one of the worst liars I have ever met, and therefore this is all somehow true. Now, let’s go see our kids, and then I will let you get back to dealing with the orc issue,” she replied.
“Thank you,” I said, accepting that this was the best I could get at the moment, and started my crawl back through that miserable tunnel.
As I stuck my hand out from the other side, a strong hand grasped it and helped pull me out. “Every thing go okay?” Elicec asked as I stood up.
“As good as could be expected. Stay with the survivors. I’m going to bring Laura to the bus. I’ll fill you in later,” I said, turning around and offering my hand to Laura as her head appeared at the exit. She took it, letting me help her out and back to her feet.
“Got it,” Elicec replied.
“Where are the kids?” She asked while scanning the crowd of people.
“Follow me,” I said, heading off toward Corey’s location following my mana flow. At first, I missed it, confused as to why the signal had led me down a nearby alleyway to a large dumpster, but as I grew nearer, the dumpster became fuzzier until suddenly, I was just looking at the bus. Was that Timon’s way of hiding it?
The door opened as I neared. “The mallet said to let you both in. Can’t say I’d let my ex on the bus, but it’s your call,” Timon said in his usual half-joke tone.
“Dave, is that a giant Mantis?” Laura asked, surprisingly less angry than she had been back in the UN building.
“Yes, he came back with me from the other world. Come on, there are a couple of other strangers on the bus as well,” I said, motioning for her to follow me as I boarded. Would she stay just as calm once I told her about the Empire of Dave? Did I have to tell her yet?
“Mom!” John shouted the second she stepped up onto the bus. The relief on his face was plain to see. The weight that had been on him was gone and in the best possible way. I was so glad I didn’t fail him again. We had found Laura alive.
“So your father wasn’t lying, not that he’s capable of it. John and Alex, I don’t have words for how relieved I am to see you both alive. Considering what little news I have of the planet, I figured you were both dead,” Laura said, her voice cracking while pushing past me to first hug John and then Alex.
“How bad is it out there, Mom? We’ve been mostly couped up in Alaska with Dad’s new friends, and I have no idea how much he’s told you yet, but it’s pretty insane there,” Alex said, wiping away tears from her face but keeping the giant smile.
“Do you want the completely honest answer?” she asked, her voice turning serious.
“Yes,” Alex and John both said.
“I don’t fully know. It’s not good. It’s not the end of the world, though, but there are a lot of people dead, and it’s going to take a while to see just how bad this is as we clean it all up. As much as I hate to say it, with your Dad and his new friends clearing out the invading forces, we can recover, but it’s going to take a lot of hard work,” Laura explained, sounding annoyed at my existence again.
“Can we not fight, please?” John asked, practically begging.
“I’m Sorry, I’ll keep it civil. I promise. But I do have a question for your father. Dave, what you said to the president; what exactly did you mean?” Laura asked, turning back to me, some of her glare having returned to her face despite her tone remaining overly calm. I knew that declaration was going to bite me in the ass eventually.
“Look, he annoyed me, and I shouldn’t have said it yet. It’s only kind of true right now anyway,” I said, stammering slightly under her gaze again. How could she still do that to me after so many years? What would her base stat be for something like presence? I pushed that thought away, as the idea of my ex-wife with class levels was too terrifying for the moment.
“Alex, John, is your father actually the emperor of something as ridiculously named as the Empire of Dave?” she asked, turning back to them.
“Uh, yeah, kind of. He still has to complete three more levels of something. It was three, right?” John asked, looking to me for help.
I sighed, shaking my head slightly before I answered. “Yeah, it was three. And just to be clear, I didn’t name it. I think the name is terrible, too. Blame that floating cloud man over there,” I said, calling out Mel for the first time, who had managed to stay noticeably silent for this whole interaction.
“Ma’am,” Mel said, bowing his head slightly.
“What happens if you don’t succeed at whatever those are?” Laura asked, her focus returning to me again.
“Most likely, someone much worse, or at least someone much more powerful than the orcs gets control of the planet, and there won’t be anything we can do to stop them,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm.
“Got it. Alex, take this,” Laura said, pulling a cell phone from her pocket and passing it to her daughter. “With Dave handling the orcs, we will work to get the cell network back up as fast as possible. That’s a government line, so it should have priority. I wish I could come with you, but right now I’m needed here. Take care of each other, and try to keep your Dad alive,” she said this last part with a surprising smile.
“Are you sure?” John asked.
“On keeping him alive? Apparently yes, he’s needed to keep the planet around. As for being needed here. Yes. You two are safe, and now I have to work to find out just how much of our emergency services still function and what we can do to start getting help out to people. I promise I’ll be in touch, though,” she said reassuringly.
“Timon, I’m going to try to track down whoever is in charge of the orcs still here and see if we can’t get them to scatter too. Once that’s done, we can head to another location,” I said, following Laura as she left the bus.
“Dave, please just keep them safe, okay? I wish I could do it, but apparently, that’s on you now,” she said, tears now in her eyes.
“I will, I promise,” I said, hugging her.
The first thing I did once I swore my oath to the order was to turn my home into a never-ending garden. Slowly I started by feeding everyone in my poor neighborhood, working to grow significantly. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so focused on my own home, I would have sooner noticed what was unfolding across the Spiral.
The Last Recorded Interview with Jornlorn Rown, the last known Paladin of Agriculture
Comments
viperfan7
Laura sounds like a bit of an ass
Ian Weidner
If it had been anyone but his ex, it would have been.
David Ellis
I was sure that the cat wouldn't be out of the bag and "I'm ThE eMpErOr oF tHe EmPiRe Of DaVe" was just going to be read as *massive* sarcasm; that he'd be interpreted as "what United States? There's no functioning country anymore"
Ian Weidner
Fixed, appreciated
Dakta
"As for being needed her" -> As for being needed here
Ian Weidner
Sorry about this being a little late, ended up massively rewriting part of it, as I didn't like it flowed on the final read through.
