Buttopia
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Loop 258 - Part 23: Stan
🕑 Added 2024-12-04 20:00:09 +0000 UTC“Glurm, we need to talk to you,” Stan said as he knocked on the frog’s door. He wasn’t thrilled to be doing this, but he needed better training on using Excalibur, and there weren’t exactly a lot of options. Twonger was there for a different reason. The giant mana spirit who had joined him was now the size of a penny and still shrinking.
“Hrm, oh, it’s you again. Can’t a frog live his own life anymore?” Glum asked, annoyed.
“Ya sure can, just as soon as ya tell me what the fuck this little mana spirit you gave me is so damn little now!” Twonger said with anger in his voice.
“Oh yeah, huh, hadn’t considered that. Go grab some of the tree fruits and find somewhere to plant the seeds once he’s done with them. Might want to find somewhere where I won’t have to get visited every new loop. I’m not so likely to always be accommodating when I notice one of the mana spirits is just missing,” Grurm replied.
“That simple, eh? Good, promised Cal I’d help with those new kids of his. How the hell does your son keep dragging more of us into this crazed mission?” Twonger asked.
“Someone has to be willing to save us all, and I think you dragged yourself into it anyway,” Stan said, glaring at the alien.
“Fine, fine, I’m outta here anyway,” Twonger replied, making a beeline for the fruit before heading for the return portal.
“What about you two? I assume you aren’t here just for fun, or did Excalibur miss me that much?” Glurm asked.
“No, I’ve talked Stan into a request,” Excalibur answered.
“And just want is that request?” Glurm asked, with a hint of joy in his voice. Stan got the feeling the frog knew exactly what he was about to ask.
“I need training, and I don’t really have any options besides you,” Stan said, forcing the words out as much as he hated saying them. He really didn’t like the frog, somehow less than the alien that had killed his son so many times.
“I knew it. You just needed to say it of course, I’ll train the new wielder of my older friend,” Glum’s whole attitude shifted from his usual snark to encouragingly friendly.
“Wait, were you just waiting for one of us to ask for real training before you decided to be less of an ass?” Stan asked.
“The first step on the path to enlightenment is the realization there are people and things far beyond you. The second step is asking them for help,” Glurm said, smiling, causing Stan to sigh loudly.
“Great, so what do we do first, then?” Stan asked.
“First we are going to go sit under the tree your friend just picked several of the fruit from, and then you are going to make us a very nice tea. Once I’ve decided it’s correct, I’ll decide what comes next,” Glurm said with a tone that made it clear he was entirely serious. Stan suddenly realized why he disliked the frog. This reminded him far too much of the asshole drill instructor he had during boot camp.
After several failed tests, Glurm finally nodded that the tea was acceptable, and Stan drank his cup. “Now what?” He asked.
“Now you fight him,” Glurm said, pointing to what looked like a giant humanoid rock creature walking towards them. “Good luck. He took longer than I expected to arrive.”
Stan pulled Excalibur and ran towards the monster, slashing at its arm the moment it came into reach. The sword rebounded off it, sparks flying. The second arm grabbed Stan, turned, and tossed him into a nearby pond. Stan swam back to shore, now incredibly angry to see the creature just standing there, taunting him.
He ran back towards it, this time pausing to dodge the swings of its rocky arms. He jumped forward and stabbed and immediately leaped to the side, avoiding the counter blow, over and over. He repeated this, slowly chipping away tiny parts of the rocky until it once again got ahold of him. This time, tossing him even further into the water.
“You're never going to win that way. Anger can be useful, but if you aren’t strong enough to do anything with it, it seems kind of pointless doesn’t it?” Glurm said, swimming by Stan as he pushed him back toward the shore.
“Then what should I do?” Stan roared back.
“Have you considered asking the sword? I know you’ve used his powers before. Stop letting your anger cloud that!” Glurm shouted from the center of the pond, where he now floated lazily on his back.
“Stan, as angry as you are right now, you know he’s also right. I know you want your wife back, but we came here to help learn better ways to fight back and make sure they can’t hurt her again,” Excalibur said. Stan felt himself almost deflate. He’d been holding onto the anger the whole loop. It was one of the few things keeping him going.
“You’re right, dammit, you’re entirely right. Alright, what do we need to do?” he asked, letting more of the anger go. He knew what he had to do here, and he wasn’t about to stand in his own way anymore.
“I want you to envision my blade sharpening as soon as you slash the arm, and then push the energy I have built up directly into contact point as quickly as you can,” Excalibur explained.
Stan charged at the rock giant yet again, this time he went in for his slash and focused on the edge of the sword, becoming sharper than a razor, and just as he hit the rock, he changed his focus to that of the sun bursting out of the sword. It worked. In an explosive fury, the creature’s arm severed and fell free to the ground. Immediately the monster stopped its attack and bowed to Stan.
“Good job, tomorrow we do it again, but this time I’m allowed to hurt you,” it said, picking up its arm with its other hand and reattaching it somehow.
