Buttopia
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Chapter 70: Fan & Shit, a Romance
🕑 Added 2024-12-29 01:17:36 +0000 UTC“Dad, you up yet?” I heard as my groggy mind came awake. John was standing in front of me carrying two plates of eggs.
“I am now, what’s up?” I asked, thinking I already knew the answer.
“I figured it was long past time for a breakfast together, so I made your favorite and kind of just wanted to talk,” he said. I pulled myself out from the blankets and found a couple of free chairs and a crate for a makeshift table.
“Your cooking is much better than the first time,” I said, smiling after eating an egg. It was quite good, even if I had gotten used to my own breakfasts, but just the idea of having eggs in my house again was a nice feeling.
“That tends to happen with years of practice, but I need to talk to you about something I haven’t told Alex yet. I don’t think we are going to find Mom. I mean, it’s possible, I guess, but she was at the UN when the attack started, and from what I’ve seen and heard, basically every government or leadership type of installation was the first targeted. I mean, the White House is just gone. There was some footage of that before everything really went down,” John explained. Even after all this time, that news felt like a gut punch; Laura was likely dead, and John had been keeping that whole burden to himself. I did my best to push down what I felt. Right now, John needed me to be clear-headed.
“It’s okay, we can talk to her together. It is possible your Mom is still alive, but I understand what you’re going through. We can talk to her about it,” I said. Now I understood the real thing that had been weighing on him yesterday. It wasn’t just the shock of seeing me.
“I really appreciate…” John started to say before the banging on the garage door started.
“Dammit, I know yer in there, Dave; get yer ass here. We don’t got a lot of time.” The voice belonged to a nearly always grumpy man I knew and had been waiting for. He had followed through on his promise, and while that removed some of the weight, the new additions of my ex-wife’s likely death more than canceled out that relief.
“John, go grab everyone inside. I have a feel this will be an all-hands-on-deck type of moment,” I said as I opened the garage door to a floating cloud man who hadn’t come with us on the bus. While I was glad to see Mel, he looked incredibly worried, and that wasn’t a good sign.
“I already woke up Timon and the brothers. Now come on, we don’t wanna be inside when they get here,” Mel said. Timon and some very groggy-looking Twinogs were standing outside the bus.
“When who gets here?” I asked, hearing the front door open and spotting the others out of the corner of my eye.
“Korl, at the very least, but if any of my schemes worked, might just have a few more incoming visitors,” Mel said before turning to my family and eyeing each of them. Was he analyzing them?
“Korl is still alive?” Sanquar said as he landed next to me.
“Who the hell are you, and what the fuck happened to yer core?” Mel asked, looking strangely at the bird.
“Uh, this is Sanquar, Mel,” I said. For the first time I had ever seen, Mel floated backward, away, looking both annoyed and worried. His eyes managed to narrow beyond what I thought he was capable of.
“So yer the damn idiot that started this whole mess! Yer lucky Dave met someone capable of untangling all the shit ya caused!” Mel said, nearly snarling the words.
“I can apologize for saving Dave’s life if you want,” Sanquar said. Another first, I hadn’t heard any snark from him before.
“No, fine, I get it. Just like this mess, you were suffering from a lack of choices. But yes, Korl’s alive, and he’s got himself a court order involving this world. I don’t know what that order is, but there’s a real chance ain’t no help is coming. If that happens, well, it might be the end. The reason I wanted y’all out here is I need every one of ya to follow my lead, no matter what happens. If it gets to the point I say fight, well, it was great knowing y’all, but ya fight,” Mel yelled to the assembled group. What the hell was coming on his heels?
“Are you the weird cloud guy Mel from the story Dave told us last night? That’s so awesome that you’re real. How do you float like that?” Maud asked, cutting through the tension.
“Ya know what, I like her. Real way of cutting through the bullshit,” Mel said, which was possibly the biggest shock of the day so far.
“Glad to hear you like someone, Mel. I wasn’t sure you still had it in you after all these years, and Sanquar, it’s been even longer. I’d ask how you’ve been, but I can’t imagine it was great,” the figure I recognized as Korl said, walking from the forest towards us. I looked to Mel, who just shook his head at me, shutting up it was.
“Korl, what brings ya to Earth?” Mel asked, his voice had shifted. He seemed to be trying to hide any annoyance or anger. I risked a glance back at Timon. The mantis’ eyes were glued to Korl, and his usual smirk had been replaced by what looked like hunger. Did Timon want this fight?
“I think you know exactly what I’m here, Mel. I’ve got a court order to take possession of this planet. We can’t have this soon-to-be incorporated world without a leader, after all,” Korl said smugly.
“And just want happens to everyone already on this planet when ya take possession of it?” Mel asked, a bit of anger seeping back into his voice.
“I’m feeling generous, so I’ll give everyone here, except Sanquar over there one chance to board that bus there and head back to where you came from. From there, make whatever you want of yourselves,” Korl said, smiling.
“Correct me if I’m wrong here, Korl, not much of a legal guy myself, but seeing as how no faction actually ever took this world, wouldn’t that mean that anyone who just happens to be a resident of this here world and is on the System’s path has a right to challenge that there order?” Mel said. There was only one person he could mean, and I had no idea how to challenge a legal order within the Spiral. I opened my mouth, and immediately shut it before a word could escape at the sudden death glare of Mel.
“That’s a pretty archaic concept there. Has that ever actually happened? When was the last time there was even someone with a developed core before Spiral incorporation? And seeing as how I have the court order, I’m not really sure what you intend to do anyway,” Korl said. Out of nowhere, a large bubble suddenly appeared in between where Mel and Korl were standing and the bus was parked. Then it looked like reality itself popped for a split second, and the bubble was gone. In its place were what looked like three black bowling balls stacked on top of each other, and standing next to them were Elody and Pryte.
“And as you can see, your honor, the paperwork I filed is entirely accurate, yet for some reason, this man is here trying to seize a world that is already possessed by a faction,” Elody said. I thought I caught Mel smiling for a fraction of a second as she said this.
“Hrm, her paperwork does appear to be in order,” the three balls said. I had no idea where their mouth or voice had come from, but they had certainly said it somehow.
“Even if that is true, why is a former librarian filing paperwork as though she is their legal representative? As far as I know she has gone back to her former paladin career and does not have a license to practice law,” Korl said, sounding just slightly caught off guard for the first time.
“Korl is correct, your honor. I do not possess a legal license. I am, though, a member of the Arena team: The More Heads, the Better. Pryte is here willing to testify to that as well as that Dave is fully registered for the Arena within that same team, and therefore has the right to allow a member of his team to represent that team in all legal matters license or not,” Elody said. This time, I was sure I saw Mel smile.
“She’s got you there, Korl. You sure you want to go up against a paladin of knowledge here? The world’s mana-barren, do you want to take the time needed to change that? And before you say it, even if Sanquar is here, who cares? There isn’t anything he can really do anymore,” the three balls said.
“I demand to know what faction has taken possession of this world. Considering who I represent, I find it very hard to believe anyone would be willing,” Korl said, the anger now rising in his voice.
“The Empire of Dave, a newly registered faction. What ya haven’t heard of them Korl?” Mel said, this time not even dropping his smirk after he finished speaking. I on the other hand frowned. Had he just said the Empire of Dave? As I opened my mouth to question it, both Elody and Mel glared at me this time. And for the third time since this started, I shut myself up. Had they just made me emperor of Earth? Fuck, I really didn’t want to rule a planet…
The birth of the Empire of Dave should, for all rights, just be a simple footnote in some history of the lesser known factions book. There is no reason at all that a faction with zero political power, no resources, not even a mana flow, and only marginally more channelers should have lasted a year, let alone grown to shake the foundations of the Spiral. And yet here we are, ten thousand years past that day, and there isn’t a being alive who doesn’t know of the planet Earth.
Systems of Change, A Book Not Yet Written by a Man Not Yet Born.
Comments
viperfan7
Ikr
Ian Weidner
Glad you liked it enough for that quick of a read.
MrBigNick90
aww man im all caught up
