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SIS Book 4 Chapter 76: War and Carrier

🕑 Added 2020-11-01 00:31:29 +0000 UTC

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Lone Immortus

Fixed all of the grammar errors, thank you. c: Well, the chapter was a pretty long one at 2,500-words, but yeah, a lot of stuff happened so I can get why it might have felt short too. The next chapter is gonna be a pain to write but it should be a banger if it all goes how I've planned, so look forward to that.

Thank you for the chapter! A nice little time-skip along with LITRPG makes reader me very happy, yes yes, extremely so. Now with my impression of who-knows-what over with, really good choice in starting action now. It's been a long time coming but it felt pretty nice having it like this. This whole chapter in a weird paradoxical way both felt longer and shorter than it actually is, in a good way if you know what I mean. It had so much fun stuff in it and so much going in but still didn't become a pure mess, well done! I also really like how you made the church make the first move. It seemed a little contrived that they would simply chill out until Daz was ready, just having them attack just as he was finished could be seen this way but it's a story, and stories don't have to follow the rules of reality. Nice to have some insight on how the "smallfolk" thinks about Daz, we have become so used to see him as "Daz" to think of him as this almost legendary heroic figure, and it's always nice to see Sandy & co again. Now to grammar faults: "here if two keep", missing a "you" before "two"; "of Halo of Judgement's chance", probably should be "the" and "chances"; "make the Chruch of Truth", where you misspelt "church" both of the times Mother Danielle's price was shown. That's all from me though and I hope you have a good one, peace!


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