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LTW[R] Book 2 Stronghold & Secrets: Chapter 14: Sorry and Roots

🕑 Added 2020-10-07 15:50:44 +0000 UTC

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Lone Immortus

Fixed the typo and edited the numbers. I agree on the flow thing. c: The clues as to what this voice is are out there but it will be revealed soon enough. Lmao. Lone the Wanderball of Fluffiness? Sounds like a great read. Yeah, I really want this to show how much Lone has changed and how much Breena hasn't changed really. Should be a good chapter next chapter.

Thank you for the chapter! It seems that Lone and company never gets some rest from adventures going to hell. On that subject, it seems we get a new dire situation, will the golden fox-kin save his Lover? Find out next time on Lone the Wanderball of fluffiness. I feel though that this is what adventurers risks while on, well, adventures. Of course, they aren't all on the scale of Lone's shenanigans but I felt like this seemed like a plausible thing to happen in that world. Now I'm gonna assume that the one (spirit?) who cursed(?) Lone and Sophie was the demi-god that Four-twelve survived. Hopefully, that was a true story. Also, well done on making the characters' reaction to it variating and all feeling like the characters, because seriously if there is one area that stumps many an author its emotional scenes' like these., you absolutely don't. The transition from the well-going start to the frustrating (for the characters!) end also felt really "smooth" and altogether making a really nice chapter. Now to the errors/things I think would make the flow a little better: "and rubbing his fingers" should probably use "rubbed"; ", you 3" and "The 3 of them" should probably use "three" instead due to "3" just making my whole flow going haywire. Anywho, hope you have a good one, peace!


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